Office Annoyers

Working in an office can be a strange experience. Often when I pass a pet shop at the mall and see the stacks of cages containing all sorts of strange and very different creatures from iguanas to gerbils, I am reminded of the office environment. All of the creatures in these cages are very different, and yet, most of them stare longingly at the outside of the cage wishing for their freedom from their small sphere of existance. Some of the creatures suction themselves to the glass walls or chew furiously with grand delusions of possible escape, but it is fruitless.

In the office, as in the pet store, the small cubicles assigned to each of the under-paid, harrassed government workers often contain very different creatures -- Most of whom are also longing for escape to the bigger outside world. I think the worst part of cubicle life is not so much the reality of being crammed into a 5x5 area for eight hours a day, but the fact that beyond your five-foot high wall exists a neighbor who is likely to be the most annoying person in the world.

I sit in an area that contains eight cubicles, four on each side, separated by a narrow aisle which connects to a wide corridor. My "cube" is the second one back from the main corridor which means that the traffic of four cubicle occupants and their visitors have to walk past my cube to get to and from the main corridor. This wouldn't be very much traffic (or so you might think), but it is. Yesterday I counted at least 30 back and forth passes within a 1.5 hour period. This is made worse by the way the cubes are set up, so basically you are facing with your back to the aisle between the eight cubes.

Now I don't know about most people, but for me, I literally can't stand people constantly walking back and forth behind me. It's highly distracting and just plain irritating to have to work like this. What is even worse is that the floor in this building is odd in that is shakes like an minor earthquake when most people walk on it.

The other thing that drives me crazy is that the cubes provide a false sense of privacy from your neighbors. Sure you can't see me, but I can still hear you. While you might not care that other people are hearing about your marital, health-related, or financial woes, trust me when I say that no one wants to hear about how your husband had to apply your hemorroid cream because you gained so much weight last winter than you can't reach it yourself and then you found a picture of him posing naked with the Swiss bikini team in his wallet so you think he might be cheating, blah blah blah. So please.. spare us or I may start recording this crap and selling it to Jerry Springer or reality TV.

Whistlers, snappers, and clappers... I have been in several different offices now containign completely different people... yet the one thing that seems to be peskily pervasive in every single one of them is a group of people I will collectively refer to as "Annoying idiots". Why must these people walk throughout the office loudly whistling, clapping, or snapping their fingers? Either they are completely oblivious to the fact that they are being annoying and disruptive to other people who are sitting at their desk trying to work, or they need a mass dose of Riddlin. Seriously, if you are one of these people knock it off. Go back to your cage... I mean cube... and do some work and let other people do theirs!

I could rant some more about the cubicle jungle, but I am getting antsy due to the number of people walking behind me. I think I will get up and take a lap around the office slapping and whistling at the same time for revenge.