Open Letter to Mattel

To the corporate decision-makers,

When I was a kid, I remember getting my first Barbie Doll with her non-existant waist and 36 double-D breasts. Being a child, I did not back then equate this doll with being responsible for the poor self image many young girls would later develop as their own figures did not magically transform into the one that Barbie had upon reaching age 17. No, I am not writing about that transgression, but unfortunately one that is far worse.

For years, you, and many other greedy companies just like you, have been switching with ever increasing speed to the ever popular "Made in China" label for most, of not all, of your manufacturing. This sickens me on many levels. First off, your company has built its fortune on the back of America and all of the freedom it provides you. So WHY in hell are you supporting China. China is a communist country. In case you don't understand what Communism is, they don't have any freedom there. No freedom of speech, no freedom of anything. They participate in infanticide, genocide, and all of the other positively lovely other things that are basic tenants of communism.

Moreover, China is an enemy of this country. The Chi-Coms spy on us, pirate our technology, and refuse to adhere to international trade laws. Right now, they are building up their capital and their manufacturing infrastucture thanks in large part to A-hole, bottom-feeder, traitorous companies like you. At the same time China is also developing advanced weaponry and building its military and menacing Tawain. And they now have full control of the Panama Canal, thanks to good 'ol Billy Clitorus (I mean Clinton). This doesn't exactly spell good things to come. Tawain first, next the world?

Next, Chinese workmanship downright SUCKS! Yes, even worse than the workmanship of illiterate Mexican roofers. Now, I will grant you that this is most likely because, in China, this work is being done by 10 year old kids who are locked in a warehouse for 16 hours a day. But still... come on! People pay $30 for your stinking Barbie. Is it too much to ask that the head is still attached after I get through cutting it out of the box (Are you guys trying to copy Muslims now or something?). Is it too much to ask that the eyes are roughly the same size and shape or both of them have eyelashes? Unless I was looking at the new "Crack-head Barbie", this is just poor quality. Now, on top of everything else, we find out that millions of toys were painted using lead paint. Good job!

In closing, I am not saying that you are the only company that cares soley about your bottom line. What I am saying is that I will never buy another product from you, ever. May all of you contract Ebola and die a horrible death. But before that, I hope that your company is sued for all it is worth, and all of you greedy bastards end up destitute roaming the streets and rummaging through dumpsters for your next meal.

Take care!