Daycare Dilemena

I don't have kids. I don't have them because I'm not really very fond of them to be honest. Kids are annoying - especially other people's kids when the parents have learned to tune them out, leaving everyone esle to suffer.

Now, it is a free country still, for the most part anyway, so obviously I try to avoid vennues that will contain hordes of snotty screaming brats and their obliviously rude parental units. This means that I don't frequent "family" style restaurants, or mcDonald's with playlands, etc. I feel this is a lifestyle choice that I make in order to avoid having to snap at someone's ill behaved crotch spawn as they look on beaming "Isn't my baby cute?". In a word, NO. Your brat is not cute once it begins annoying me by shrieking, racing around, throwing random objects, etc. It's also not cute when it shits in it's pants and you decide that propping the carrier up on top of the table in the middle of a restaurant is a great place to change little johnny's diaper even though other guests who WERE trying to enjoy their meal, are now trying not to gag at the stench or punch your lights out for being a rude inconsiderate asshole. Take you brat to the restroom. No brainer. Retard.

I have several complaints about parents who bring their brats to places that are completely inappropriate for no reason other than they are apparents to lazy or cheap to get a sitter. A short list of these places include: Upscale dining establishments (I don't mean like Applebees. I am talkign about places where dinner for two is going to cost about $75 on average without going overboard on the cocktails)and movies that are clearly not for children or that are shown on Friday and Saturday evenings (These are the times when couple - even those that have kids go out - WITHOUT the kids trying to relax and enjoy peace and quiet. Noone wants to hear or smell your screaming crotch spawn! Leave it at home - Thanks!).


Now I have one more to add to this list. Work. WHY oh WHY do people feel that they can bring their screaming spawn into the workplace just because school is closed for snow or whatever? Guess what? I don't work in a field that requires me to work with kids because I don't want to work with or around kids!! Moreover, most officers are of an environment that is completely unsuitable and inappropriate for kids. We are tryign to do BUSINESS here people. It is not professional when your unattended child is racing around the office making airplane noises, playing with buttons on the fax machine, or throwing staplers on the floor!

I don't blame the kids. I blame the ignorant parents who do this type of thing. Their selfish bid to save their time off while forcing their brats on the rest of us for the day is completely inappropriate. I have no idea how people get away with this sort of shit quite honestly. The worst offenders are the ones that bring their sick kids to work because the daycare faqcility won't take them (because they are sick and contagious). Why the FUCK do you retards think that the rest of us want to be exposed to your disease ridden mucuous ridden screaming brat! Arg. There really need to be more laws against this sort of horseshit. Of course, if you dare to give the parent a nasty look for imposing their annoying and/or contagious spawn on others, you are accused of hating kids. I don't hate them. I just don't like them. And noone should have to have their workplace unwillingly turned into a daycare facility. Most of the women make little cooing noises like "awwww it's he sweet" when little Johnny runs by shrieking, but for me, I'll just continue to give the kid , and its parental unit, a dirty look that says "Seriously.What.the.Fuck".

Boorish Tourists

In many areas tourism is touted constantly as a real boon. A real boon to whom I might ask? Perhaps for the small percentage of people who capitalize on the out-of-towners that swarm to that area, it is a boon. To the rest of us, these tourists are nothing more than pests who are infesting our living space, and who we locals look forward to be rid of. This may be especially true of areas where tourism is very much a seasonal thing. Understandably, if you move next door to Disneyland, you may never get a rest as that type of place is a year round "destination" for millions.

Personally, I am just tired of the moronic tourists who for some reason come here and can't seem to understand that driving 20 miles below the speed limit on the interstate during morning rush hour reading a map, or holding up the toll booth line for 10 minutes to ask the toll booth driver for directions is rude. This is why the locals hate you guys and throw a large block party when you idiots leave for the season to go bother some other area.

Open Letter to Mattel

To the corporate decision-makers,

When I was a kid, I remember getting my first Barbie Doll with her non-existant waist and 36 double-D breasts. Being a child, I did not back then equate this doll with being responsible for the poor self image many young girls would later develop as their own figures did not magically transform into the one that Barbie had upon reaching age 17. No, I am not writing about that transgression, but unfortunately one that is far worse.

For years, you, and many other greedy companies just like you, have been switching with ever increasing speed to the ever popular "Made in China" label for most, of not all, of your manufacturing. This sickens me on many levels. First off, your company has built its fortune on the back of America and all of the freedom it provides you. So WHY in hell are you supporting China. China is a communist country. In case you don't understand what Communism is, they don't have any freedom there. No freedom of speech, no freedom of anything. They participate in infanticide, genocide, and all of the other positively lovely other things that are basic tenants of communism.

Moreover, China is an enemy of this country. The Chi-Coms spy on us, pirate our technology, and refuse to adhere to international trade laws. Right now, they are building up their capital and their manufacturing infrastucture thanks in large part to A-hole, bottom-feeder, traitorous companies like you. At the same time China is also developing advanced weaponry and building its military and menacing Tawain. And they now have full control of the Panama Canal, thanks to good 'ol Billy Clitorus (I mean Clinton). This doesn't exactly spell good things to come. Tawain first, next the world?

Next, Chinese workmanship downright SUCKS! Yes, even worse than the workmanship of illiterate Mexican roofers. Now, I will grant you that this is most likely because, in China, this work is being done by 10 year old kids who are locked in a warehouse for 16 hours a day. But still... come on! People pay $30 for your stinking Barbie. Is it too much to ask that the head is still attached after I get through cutting it out of the box (Are you guys trying to copy Muslims now or something?). Is it too much to ask that the eyes are roughly the same size and shape or both of them have eyelashes? Unless I was looking at the new "Crack-head Barbie", this is just poor quality. Now, on top of everything else, we find out that millions of toys were painted using lead paint. Good job!

In closing, I am not saying that you are the only company that cares soley about your bottom line. What I am saying is that I will never buy another product from you, ever. May all of you contract Ebola and die a horrible death. But before that, I hope that your company is sued for all it is worth, and all of you greedy bastards end up destitute roaming the streets and rummaging through dumpsters for your next meal.

Take care!

Burning Bridges

Just a little food for thought... We are incessantly told how we need these illegal foreign workers to come here and "do the jobs Americans won't do". We are told that we need this unskilled labor pool.

And so these unskilled foreigners team into our midst carrying false ID and very often highly contagious diseases like Tuberculosis that were stamped out in this country years ago. We don't even know who these people are since they have fake ID --if they are "documented" at all. How do we know what the skills of these people include?

Many of these cut-rate illegals end up working in critical industries like, oh I don't know, construction? Funny that AMERICAN citizens and people who are allowed to work here LEGALLY often are required to have special licenses or trainign to work in construction, but yet the "unskilled" criminal invader, waiting outside on the street to be hired by some cheapskate dirtbag contractor, needs no such credentials. Hell, they don't even need to speak English or know how to read.

When when you hear things about things like the bridge in Minnesota collapsing, you really have to wonder if some contractor trying to save a few bucks by hiring incompetant, unskilled, illegal workers helped to cause this tragedy. I would not be surprised if many other bridges, high rises, etc. within our infrastructure suffered this fate due to poor quality of workmanship which is primarily the result of the large influx of uncertified illegal laborers into the construction industry.

While we're talking about this, we may as well talk about another point that I mentioned above: Illegal invaders swarming here carrying infectious diseases. Where else besides construction do they work? You know places like hotels, restaurants, agriculture. The concept of having foreigners who could be carrying any number of possible diseases working in industries where they are directly handling our food supply or exposing themselves to large cross-sections of the population is particularly unnerving.

When I read about things like the spinach and lettuce Ecoli scare a couple years ago, i also can't help remembering WHO it is exactly that is probably out in the fields picking the lettuce and spinach. Most of the people who come from a culture where it is perfectly acceptable and even normal to take a piss off the front porch in broad daylight in full view of anyone who cares to see. I'm sure a bunch of these people working out in the field picking lettuce are not going to take the time or inconvenience to find a bathroom if they have to take a dump either.

Not only is this type of behavior unsanitary and disgusting, but it poses a very real health hazard. We need to start talking about this and stop being politically correct. There is an elephant in the room and it's time we started talking about it.

C(h)ity Sidewalks

Hey!! Hey!!! You crack Mutherfacka neegar biatch!! Yeah that's riaght you!

Yep, you guess correctly if you said this scene was some chickie from da hood having a heated argument with her baby fadda on the street at lunchtime. Stepping out onto the sidewalk from my place of employement located in the slumbs of downtown can be, to paraphase Bilbo Baggins, "A dangerous business".

Now I consider myself as adventurous as the next person , but I really have no desire to witness some of the things I have during the short time I have been in this craphole of a location.

Once upon a time, most of the government offices were located in a safe quiet location on a building campus with lots of parking which was owned by the government (oops, I did mean TAXPAYERS really!). But then the government decided that this campus was too nice and that they must sell it to some crony of a politician's large corporation for a pittance as an incentive for the company to move here to our wonderful state. And so the campus was sold, but not before the government poured large amount of taxpayer's money into fixing up all the sidewalks and roads and landscaping on this large campus... I guess the tax breaks and the fact that the large corporation was buying the property for a fraction of its value wasn't good enough... so on the sly the good old politician's fixed all the things on the property that we government workers had not seen repaired in 10+ years just before handing over the property to their pals - at our expense. Nice!

Meanwhile, the tens of thousands of government workers who had previously worked on this campus, had to be relocated... but where? Again, the politicians came up with another great scheme.

Most of the cities in this area are horrible. They are nothing more than glamourized slums. There is little in the way of culture or attractions that would make most people want to risk their lives travelling through the slums to bother coming to any of these small pitiful local cities. Therefore, the government, which is constantly pouring more tax money into 'urban rivitalization' projects for the sole purpose of patting themselves on the back and pandering to low income people that live in those areas, had the wonderful idea to move all the government offices to these areas.

Now, we are all unwilling hostages basically from 9am-5pm monday through Friday. It is funny to see the "government worker" traffic. In the morning hours you see an influ of fairly late model cars containing middle class type looking people driving through these slums. Scenic view out the window of the commute generally includes a homeless person taking a leak on the wall of a dilapitated building or a crack momma screaming obscenities at her baby-fadda from the doorway of a building that looks like it should have been condemned five years ago. This is such a great situation for all of us that are forced to work in these areas. I'm sure that all the workers love it as much as me, as evidenced by the massive traffic snarls at 5pm caused by the government workers evacuating this shit hole city.

I'm sure us middle class folks are really helping to "revitalize" downtown business here... since most of us are afraid to even step out of our secured buildings at lunchtime. The sidewalks contain some messed up things here. I don't know what goes on in politicians heads when they do things like this. I think we should bus them in for the day and let them walk these sidewalks and see if they would want to work here themselves before they make decisions to force other people to do so.

Office Annoyers

Working in an office can be a strange experience. Often when I pass a pet shop at the mall and see the stacks of cages containing all sorts of strange and very different creatures from iguanas to gerbils, I am reminded of the office environment. All of the creatures in these cages are very different, and yet, most of them stare longingly at the outside of the cage wishing for their freedom from their small sphere of existance. Some of the creatures suction themselves to the glass walls or chew furiously with grand delusions of possible escape, but it is fruitless.

In the office, as in the pet store, the small cubicles assigned to each of the under-paid, harrassed government workers often contain very different creatures -- Most of whom are also longing for escape to the bigger outside world. I think the worst part of cubicle life is not so much the reality of being crammed into a 5x5 area for eight hours a day, but the fact that beyond your five-foot high wall exists a neighbor who is likely to be the most annoying person in the world.

I sit in an area that contains eight cubicles, four on each side, separated by a narrow aisle which connects to a wide corridor. My "cube" is the second one back from the main corridor which means that the traffic of four cubicle occupants and their visitors have to walk past my cube to get to and from the main corridor. This wouldn't be very much traffic (or so you might think), but it is. Yesterday I counted at least 30 back and forth passes within a 1.5 hour period. This is made worse by the way the cubes are set up, so basically you are facing with your back to the aisle between the eight cubes.

Now I don't know about most people, but for me, I literally can't stand people constantly walking back and forth behind me. It's highly distracting and just plain irritating to have to work like this. What is even worse is that the floor in this building is odd in that is shakes like an minor earthquake when most people walk on it.

The other thing that drives me crazy is that the cubes provide a false sense of privacy from your neighbors. Sure you can't see me, but I can still hear you. While you might not care that other people are hearing about your marital, health-related, or financial woes, trust me when I say that no one wants to hear about how your husband had to apply your hemorroid cream because you gained so much weight last winter than you can't reach it yourself and then you found a picture of him posing naked with the Swiss bikini team in his wallet so you think he might be cheating, blah blah blah. So please.. spare us or I may start recording this crap and selling it to Jerry Springer or reality TV.

Whistlers, snappers, and clappers... I have been in several different offices now containign completely different people... yet the one thing that seems to be peskily pervasive in every single one of them is a group of people I will collectively refer to as "Annoying idiots". Why must these people walk throughout the office loudly whistling, clapping, or snapping their fingers? Either they are completely oblivious to the fact that they are being annoying and disruptive to other people who are sitting at their desk trying to work, or they need a mass dose of Riddlin. Seriously, if you are one of these people knock it off. Go back to your cage... I mean cube... and do some work and let other people do theirs!

I could rant some more about the cubicle jungle, but I am getting antsy due to the number of people walking behind me. I think I will get up and take a lap around the office slapping and whistling at the same time for revenge.

"Hi, I'd like a number 2 with a sideorder of stupidity, please"

Today at lunch I pulled up to the BurgerKing Drive-Thru. There were about three cars ahead of me and I sat there for about five minutes because some rude asshole was holding up the line as he sat in place yapping to some guy he knew who was talking to him outside his car... Hey pal... I got news for you. You're a moron and some of us aren't on welfare like you probably are where we can roll out of bed at noon everyday and wait three hours in the drive-thru for you to finish your drug deal/conversation/Friday night date plans.

I mean seriously... What the fuck? I mean three people are sitting behind you who are ready to order and probably in a hurry and you are sitting there for literally 5 minutes yapping and completely oblivious to the fact that other people exist. I continued to glare at this retard until he eventually at his leisure concluded his conversation and pulled forward. I am fairly sure that if the obnoxious driver and his conversational partner had not both been two very large black dudes that looked like they could have been packing heat, everyone would have been honking their horn furiously at their blantant rudeness. Finally, Mr. Coolio decides to pull forward to the ordering window... Surprise surprise... he doesn't even have his order ready and we have to wait yet again while he makes an attempt to read the menu. I really hate people like this. Absolutely no respect for anyone else but themselves.

Another fine example is the people that take a leisurely stroll across the road taking their sweet time. They probably think because their fat asses weigh about 1/2 as much as a small car that most people will avoid hitting them. It is really aggravating though when there is a half mile backup of cars waiting to get through the intersection, the light only turns green for about 30 seconds, and fatass momma uses all but 5 of them to waddle across the road. Nevermind that there is actually a crosswalk and a little button she could have pressed and waited to safely cross without holding the cars up and causing more gridlock. She probably couldn't figure out how it worked, couldn't read, or maybe she just didn't speak English.

Does anyone remember the garbage barge? Sometimes i wish we could put all the people like the ones I described above on a small vessel and launch it out to sea or outerspace or something.

Thank god it's almost Friday.